Mar-a-Lago: home to the most beautiful chocolate cakes you’ve ever seen… and the ugliest, stinkiest sinkholes!
Hell opened up in front of Donald Trump‘s Palm Beach, Florida estate over the weekend in the form of a 4′ x 4’ sinkhole in the road right by the side entrance.
Town officials issued a traffic alert on Monday morning, which read:
“A 4′ x 4′ sinkhole has formed on Southern Boulevard directly in front of Mar-a-Lago. It appears to be in the vicinity of the newly installed water main. West Palm Beach Utilities distribution crews have secured the area and will most likely need to do some exploratory excavation today.”
Let’s hope this really is from a “newly installed water main” and not the Donald opening a literal gate to hell. (Though in his defense, Steve Bannon could probably use a trip home by now.)
Twitter also failed to see the sinkhole as a standard utility problem, and instead saw a giant, perhaps too-on-the-nose metaphor:
Hate to be pedantic, but the Mar-a-lago sinkhole isn’t *technically* a metaphor, because metaphors aren’t *that* obvious.
— Dennis DiClaudio (@dennisdiclaudio) May 22, 2017
Sean Spicer wants to make it very clear there is NOT a sinkhole in front of Mar-A-Lago…
It is a Florida Swamp Center.
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) May 22, 2017
My working theory: It’s a hellmouth, not a sinkhole.
— Jeff LaMarche (@jeff_lamarche) May 22, 2017
Other Twitics couldn’t help but be alarmed that the sinkhole came right after Trump was pictured touching a mysterious glowing orb on his trip to Saudi Arabia:
So this happened last week, and now a “sinkhole” appeared outside Mar-a-Lago. What in the name of all that is good is this man summoning?! pic.twitter.com/FqiKZyLdU5
— Pete Mella (@themella) May 22, 2017
Trump starts fucking with mystical orbs and the next day a sinkhole opens in front of Mar-a-Lago. He has no idea what he’s unleashed.
— Matthew Yglesias (@mattyglesias) May 22, 2017
Better be on the lookout for swarms of locusts coming out of Trump Tower.